How to stay positive

Having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can’t be done.” Bo Bennett “To avoid situations in which you might make mistakes may be the biggest mistake of all.” Peter McWilliams “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” Anais Nin One of the very first things I started to work on consciously with my own personal development was to improve my outlook on life. I think I have always tried to look for the silver lining in life but from around the age of 35 I started to delve into this topic and to step by step – and while sometimes tumbling backwards – build a more optimistic outlook on everything that is going on around me. An attitude that has over time become more and more stable so that I now not only look at the world in a positive way during good days. But also so I can stay positive and constructive even during tough times and keep working towards something better. In this blog I’d like to share 11 of the best, smartest and most effective habits for doing so that I have learned from my personal development.

I hope you will find something helpful here.

1. Find the optimistic viewpoint in a negative situation. One of the simplest but most effective ways to build a more positive outlook has in my experience been to ask more helpful questions as often as possible. When I am in what seems like a negative situation – maybe I have made a mistakes, I have failed or stumbled in some kind of way – then I like to ask myself questions like: • What is one thing that is positive or good about this situation? • What is one opportunity within this situation? Doing so is a whole lot better than what I used to do in such situations. Because back then I usually asked myself how much I sucked and how things could get even worse now. I do however not always use these questions right away. Oftentimes I need a bit of time to process the thoughts and feelings that arise in situation before I can do that. Trying to force optimistic thinking when you are still in an emotional turmoil or a bit shocked usually don’t work that well.

2. Cultivate and live in a positive environment. Who you choose to spend your time with and the input you get from other sources like the TV, the internet and magazines will have a huge effect on your outlook. To be able to stay positive it is essential to have influences in your life that support you and lift you up instead of dragging you down. So carefully consider what you let into your mind. You can for example ask yourself: • Who are the 3 most negative people I spend time with? • What are the 3 of most negative sources of information I spend time on? Consider the answers. Then think about how you can start spending less time with one of those people or information sources this week. And how you can spend more of the time you have now freed up with one of the most positive sources or people in your life.

3. Go slowly. I have found that when I go too fast, when I try to think, talk, eat and move around in my world really quickly then things don’t go too well. Stress builds up. Negative thoughts about just about anything start to well up and I feel like my own personal power decreases. To combat this, I do is slow down just for a few minutes – even if I have to force it by walking, talking and eating slower – then my mind and body calms down too. It becomes easier to think things through clearly again and easier to find the optimistic and constructive perspective. Give your mind time to find the positive.

4. Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. It’s very easy to lose perspective, especially if you are stressed and you are going too fast. And so a molehill can become a big and terrifying mountain in your mind. A simple three step way to handle these situations so they don’t get out of hand is to: • Say stop. In your mind, shout “STOP!” or “NOPE, we are not going down that path again!” as soon as thoughts of this kind starts to spin in your head. • Breathe. After you have disrupted the thoughts by shouting stop sit down and just be still. Breathe with your belly and focus on just your in-breaths and out- breaths for a minute or two to calm your mind and body down. • Refocus. Question your mountain building thoughts by talking to someone close to you and getting a more grounded perspective on the situation by just venting or by getting his or her input. Or simply ask yourself this to widen your perspective and to chill out: Will this matter in 1 years? 1 month? 1 week? or one hour?

5. Don’t let vague fears hold you back from doing what you want. Sometimes you may want to take a chance in life. Start a new habit that feels unfamiliar, your own business on the side or ask someone out for a date. A common trap when you want to do one of those things is to get lost in vague fears about what could happen if you actually took action. And so the mind runs wild fueled by fear and it creates nightmare scenarios. I know. I have been there many times. Now I get excited when I have these dreams. I take it as a sign that I am going the right way So I have learned to ask myself this: honestly, what is the worst that could happen? When I have figured that out I also spend a bit of time on trying to figure out what I could do if that that often pretty unlikely thing happens. I have over the years discovered that the worst thing that could realistically happen is usually not as scary as the nightmare my fear-fueled mind could produce. Finding clarity in this way doesn’t take much time or effort and it can help you to avoid much mind made suffering. And help you to get going, step outside of your comfort zone and take that chance.

6. Add value and positivity to someone else’s life. What you send out you tend to get back from the world and the people in it. Not from everyone. And not every time. But often But what you send out there matters a whole lot. What you give them and how you treat them is what you’ll get back. And they way you treat others and how you think of them also tend to have a big effect on how you treat and think about yourself. So give value and spread the positivity by for example: • Helping out. Lend a hand when moving. Give a friend a ride in your car. Or if he or she needs information then help out by checking it up on Google or asking a friend of yours. • Just listening. Sometimes people don’t want any direct help. They just want someone to be there fully and listening as they vent for a little while. • Boosting the mood. Smile. Give hugs when appropriate. Play uplifting music when hanging out with a friend or suggest an inspiring movie for your movie night. Or encourage when someone has had a bad day or are going through a tough time. Be the shining light.

7. Exercise regularly and eat and sleep well. This is very obvious of course. But I know the big, big impact a good night’s sleep or good workout can have when my thoughts are pessimistic and I have a lot of tensions on the inside. And I know how much simpler it is to think clearly and optimistically when my belly is not empty. So I highly recommend being careful about these basic habits that may sound boring. Because they do have a huge effect either way depending on how you manage them.

8. Learn to take criticism in a healthy way. One of the most common fears is the fear of criticism. It can hold people back from doing what they want in life. Because having negativity flowing out of someone’s mouth and it being about you can hurt. And being rejected can sting quite a bit. But if you want to take action on what you deep down want then criticism is pretty much unavoidable. So the key is learning to handle it in a healthier way. By doing so your fear of it will lessen and it will hurt less if you do get criticized. I usually use four steps when I get some criticism. Maybe they can help you out too: • Step 1: Don’t reply right away. When you are angry, upset or riled up then it is time to calm down a bit before you reply. Take at least a couple of deep breaths or a little time to process the message before you respond. Make sure you understand 100% what is being said to you. Listen for the message and not the way it is being said. • Step 2: Really listen to the criticism. Try to remain open and level-headed and figure out how this message can help you. Ask yourself: Is there one thing I can learn from this criticism? Is there something here that I may not want to hear but could help me? • Step 3: Remember that the criticism isn’t always about you. Some criticism is helpful. Some is simply attacks or someone lashing out because they are having bad day, year or job. To lessen the sting of such criticism – often really angry or overly critical in an unconstructive way – I try to be understanding. I think to myself that this person might not be feeling so good at the moment. • Step 4: Reply or let go. No matter the content of for example an email I try to keep my reply level-headed and kind. I may add a question or two to get more specific feedback that is helpful. And if they don’t reply or I have simply gotten a nasty attack then it is time to delete it and to let that situation go.

9. If something still gets under your skin then know what to do. Sometimes something can still get under your skin and hurt you. Even if you use the steps above. Two things that have helped me with that challenge are: • Let it out. Just letting that issue out into the light talking it over with someone close can be very helpful to see it for what it actually is. And to find a healthier perspective on the situation. • Improve your self-esteem. I have found over the years that with a stronger self-esteem thing drag me down less and they don’t ruin my day as much anymore. Negativity from others bounce off me much more often instead. • I also ask myself this question. Is their criticism relevant?. If a 29 year old office work who had never run a personal training business or any business started telling me know to do things I would not listen but if the founder of Fitness First was talking with me I would be taking notes.

10. Start your day in a positive way. How you start your day usually sets the tone for the rest of your day. So be careful about how you spend your mornings. If you get going at full speed, lost in future troubles in your mind then the stress, perceived loss of power of over your life and negative thoughts will ramp up quickly. If you on the other hand start your day by moving slowly, by having an uplifting conversation with your family or friend or you spend some time with reading or listening to inspiring and helpful articles or podcasts over breakfast or during your bus ride to work then that can make a big difference for how your whole day will go.

11. Mindfully move through your day. When you spend your time in the present moment then it becomes so much easier to access positive emotions and to stay practical about what you can actually do about something in your life. When you get lost in the past or future like so many of us have spent a lot of time on doing then worries very easily become bigger. And failures and mistakes from the past being replayed over and over in your mind drag you down into pessimism. By moving slowly through your morning and hopefully through much of the rest of your day it becomes easier to mindfully stay in the moment you are in. “Start slow and see how you go” Quote Jaron Blackie Another simple way to reconnect with the moment in you are in and to put your full attention there again is to focus just on what is going on around you right now for a minute or two with all your senses. See it. Hear it. Smell it. Feel the sun, rain or cold wind on your skin. It might sound like a small and insignificant thing to do. But this simplifying reconnection with the moment can have a very positive effect on the rest of your day.

Golden Rules of Goal Setting

Five Rules to Set Yourself Up for Success 

Have you thought about what you want to be doing in five years’ time? Are you clear about what your main objective at work is at the moment? Do you know what you want to have achieved by the end of today? 

If you want to succeed, you need to set goals. Without goals you lack focus and direction. Goal setting not only allows you to take control of your life’s direction; it also provides you a benchmark for determining whether you are actually succeeding. Think about it: Having a million dollars in the bank is only proof of success if one of your goals is to amass riches. If your goal is to practice acts of charity, then keeping the money for yourself is suddenly contrary to how you would define success. 

To accomplish your goals, however, you need to know how to set them. You can’t simply say, “I want” and expect it to happen. Goal setting is a process that starts with careful consideration of what you want to achieve, and ends with a lot of hard work to actually do it. In between there are some very well-defined steps that transcend the specifics of each goal. Knowing these steps will allow you to formulate goals that you can accomplish. 

Here are our five golden rules of goal setting. 

The Five Golden Rules 

1. Set Goals That Motivate You 

When you set goals for yourself, it is important that they motivate you: this means making sure that they are important to you, and that there is value in achieving them. If you have little interest in the outcome, or they are irrelevant given the larger picture, then the chances of you putting in the work to make them happen are slim. Staying motivation is key to achieving goals. 

Set goals that relate to the high priorities in your life. Without this type of focus, you can end up with far too many goals, leaving you too little time to devote to each one. Goal achievement requires commitment, so to maximize the likelihood of success, you need to feel a sense of urgency and have an “I must do this” attitude. When you don’t have this, you risk putting off what you need to do to make the goal a reality. This in turn leaves you feeling disappointed and frustrated with yourself, both of which are de-motivating. And you can end up in a very destructive “I can’t do anything or be successful at anything” frame of mind. 


To make sure your goal is motivating, write down why it’s valuable and important to you. Ask yourself, “If I were to share my goal with others, what would I tell them to convince them it was a worthwhile goal?” You can use this motivating value 

statement to help you if you start to doubt yourself or lose confidence in your ability to actually make the goal happen. As you are reading this I am going to presume that one of your goals is lose weight. Now if you can’t confidently explain to someone why you are losing weight and have them agree that is it good idea, then you may be in trouble. 

2. Set SMART Goals 

You have probably heard of SMART GOALS already. But do you always apply the rule? The simple fact is that for goals to be powerful, they should be designed to be SMART. There are many variations of what SMART stands for, but the essence is this – goals should be: 





Time Bound. 

Set Specific Goals 

Your goal must be clear and well defined. Vague or generalized goals are unhelpful because they don’t provide sufficient direction. Remember, you need goals to show you the way. Make it as easy as you can to get where you want to go by defining precisely where you want to end up. 

Set Measurable Goals 

Include precise amounts, dates, and so on in your goals so you can measure your degree of success. If your goal is simply defined as “To reduce expenses” how will you know when you have been successful? In one month’s time if you have a 1 percent reduction or in two years’ time when you have a 10 percent reduction? Without a way to measure your success you miss out on the celebration that comes with knowing you have actually achieved something. 

Set Attainable Goals 

Make sure that it’s possible to achieve the goals you set. If you set a goal that you have no hope of achieving, you will only demoralize yourself and erode your confidence. However, resist the urge to set goals that are too easy. Accomplishing a goal that you didn’t have to work hard for can be anticlimactic at best, and can also make you fear setting future goals that carry a risk of non-achievement. By setting realistic yet challenging goals, you hit the balance you need. These are the types of goals that require you to “raise the bar” and they bring the greatest personal satisfaction. Any goal you set should make you feel uncomfortable. It should force you to step outside of your comfort zone. 

Set Relevant Goals 

Goals should be relevant to the direction you want your life and career to take. By keeping goals aligned with this, you’ll develop the focus you need to get ahead and do what you want. Set widely scattered and inconsistent goals, and you’ll fritter your time – and your life – away. 

Set Time-Bound Goals 

You goals must have a deadline. Again, this means that you know when you can celebrate success. When you are working on a deadline, your sense of urgency increases and achievement will come that much quicker. Jean and Jaron always recommend counting the days down. Keep reminding yourself that you are running out of time. 

3. Set Goals in Writing 

The physical act of writing down a goal makes it real and tangible. You have no excuse for forgetting about it. As you write, use the word “will” instead of “would like to” or “might.” For example, “I will reduce my body fat by 10 percent this year,” not “I would like to reduce my body fat by 10 percent this year.” The first goal statement has power and you can “see” yourself reducing expenses, the second lacks passion and gives you an excuse if you get side-tracked. 


If you use a TO-DO-LIST 

Make yourself a To-Do List template that has your goals at the top of it 

Post your goals in visible places to remind yourself every day of what it is you intend to do. Put them on your walls, desk, computer monitor, bathroom mirror or refrigerator as a constant reminder. An affirmation letter is great for this. 

4. Make an Action Plan 

This step is often missed in the process of goal setting. You get so focused on the outcome that you forget to plan all of the steps that are needed along the way. By writing out the individual steps, and then crossing each one off as you complete it, you’ll realize that you are making progress towards your ultimate goal. This is especially important if your goal is big and demanding, or long-term. This way you can just focus on the next step and completing that. Your weight loss journey is a great example of this. Just focus on getting every 90 minutes correct. Do everything you need to do in that 90 minutes to move you towards your goal 

5. Stick With It! 

Remember, goal setting is an ongoing activity not just a means to an end. Build in reminders to keep yourself on track, and make regular time-slots available to review your goals. Your end destination may remain quite similar over the long term, but the action plan you set for yourself along the way can change significantly. Make sure the relevance, value, and necessity remain high. 

Key Points 

Goal setting is much more than simply saying you want something to happen. Unless you clearly define exactly what you want and understand why you want it the first place, your odds of success are considerably reduced. By following the Five Golden Rules of Goal Setting you can set goals with confidence and enjoy the satisfaction that comes along with knowing you achieved what you set out to do.

Top ways to make exercise fun


Exercise is one of the pillars of longevity. The benefits of exercise are many: heart health, weight management, better sleep, improved mood, more energy and many more. The biggest benefit? Reducing your risk of chronic illnesses. Through exercise, you’ll stay healthy longer, age well and feel great. 

Getting started on a routine exercise habit is the hardest part. Use these ideas to put some more fun into your exercise routine. 

Add a Friend 

Find someone to be your exercise buddy. Don’t choose just anyone: Pick someone who is full of energy, fun and who you look forward to spending time with. That way, you’ll want to exercise just to be with your friend. I personally train with my friend Justin because I know he will turn up and the conversation is always educational. 

Group Fitness 

Group classes are a way to meet new people, have an instructor to keep your form and effort good and be motivated to go each time. Shop around for your class: Find an instructor who has both knowledge and enthusiasm. You can gauge the social tone an instructor creates by watching if anyone talks to him or her before or after the class and if the other participants talks to each other. 

Play Something 

We use the word “play” in front of sports because they are fun. You “play” tennis, golf, soccer, softball or any other sport. Find a sport that you used to “play” when younger and take it up again. Choose a team sport when possible to add some socialisation. 

Audio Books and Podcasts 

Download some audio books or podcasts. Hundreds of free podcasts are available covering any topic you can imagine. Audio books can also be easily downloaded. This way, when you think about exercising, you can be looking forward to “reading” the next chapter in your novel. 

New Shoes 

Go exercise-fashion shopping. Start with your shoes. Go to a good running or fitness store and have a salesperson help you find the perfect shoe. Each type of shoe supports your foot differently, so you need to make sure you have the right shoe for you. Bring in your old running or exercise shoes; the wear marks will tell the salesperson how you run. After the lustre wears off your shoes, go back for some new shorts, shirts or other accessories. 

Chart Your Stats 

Thousands of people obsessively chart the stats of their favourite baseball, basketball or football players and teams. Do the same for yourself. Create a wall chart and log your exercise activity, vital 

statistics (weight, measurements, best times, maximum lifts, etc.). Chart every detail of your exercise routine for a month. You’ll feel great as the information gets up on the wall. 

Mix It Up 

Don’t do the exact same exercise routine every day; mix it up. If you always run on the treadmill, run outside on a nice day. Take a week off your lifting routine and do a Pilates class instead. As soon as you feel your exercise routine becoming a rut, find something else to do. The 5’N’5 videos are a great way to mis it up. 


The scale can be the worst factor when it comes to motivation. 

You may be working hard, but your weight just stays the same. Part of the reason may be that you are adding muscle while losing fat. Another reason is that it just takes time and changes in your diet to lose substantial weight. So don’t just rely on the scales; instead, take some measurements. The tape measure will show change well before the scale does. Measure your chest, waist and hips. Be sure to measure in the same place each time. Add those measurements to your wall chart and watch the progress. Watch the video on Day 3 Pre-season to see how to do this correctly. 

TV, Videos, and Music 

Many people find that a bit of distraction helps get them through a workout. 

Load you’re phone up with inspirational music (change the music weekly to give you some surprises). Watch TV shows while on the treadmill or put in your favourite movie and watch 1/2 of it each time you exercise. That way, you’ll be able to watch one or two movies a week. You can do the same with TV shows; record your shows or rent a series and watch while exercising. You’ll look forward to your exercise just to find out what happens next in the show. 


At the end of exercise (after you “cool down”), give yourself 5 minutes of relaxation. Just lie down on your back and let your body sink into the floor. Close your eyes. Relax. Feel the effects of exercise in your body. Look forward to the deep relaxation that can come after physical activity. You may find that you start exercising just to experience this feeling.

Move or die sooner

?‍♀️ ⛹️‍♀️Move or die sooner ? ?‍♀️

It has been reported by The World Health Organisation that about 3.2 million deaths per year can be attributed to “insufficient physical activity”. Lack of movement is killing more people per year than obesity. Honestly, I have no idea how many of the 3.2 million had been over weight, but I am pretty sure it would have been a contributing factor too. Either way physical inactivity is now taking lives.

?‍?The World Health Organisation suggests that we each do about 20 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise per day. Really does not seem like a lot. Come on, 20 minutes a day, we should all be hitting that target. ⭕ BUT WE ARE NOT. NOT EVEN CLOSE.

Personally, I have always felt that 30-45 minutes of fitness /activity each day, plus around 15000 steps across the day would help to keep the majority of people in general health.

➡️With this in mind I have create 10 tips that should help you build movement into your day.

  1. Walk to work every day or at least every second day. What about driving to work early and doing your walk there. Could help you beat the traffic. I used to do this. Saved me 30 minutes sitting in the car.
  2. Use your lunch time to get out walking or to squeeze in a workout.
  3. Take the long way around. Use the stairs. Look for any reason to be on your feet and moving.
  4. You are not chained to your desk, so get up and move at least every hour. Aim to get 300-500 plus steps in each time you get up. That’s only 3-5 minutes away from your desk.
  5. Stretching is so important. So, sit on the floor while watching tv ? and stretch out. Your body will thank you for it later in life.
  6. Your weekends should be a great time to fit in as more activity. Go try something new that challenges your body and your brain.
  7. Invest in a Fitbit or a Garmin. Such a simple little device that can be set to remind you to move. I love watching the numbers tick over.
  8. If you can, plan a work walking meeting. Why not it’s good for everyone.
  9. Never sit and talk while on the phone. Get up and move. Most phone calls run for 5 -10 minutes on average. That translates to 1000-2000 steps
  10. When you go to the shops, a friend’s place, sporting events or any place you are driving to, park as far away from the destination as possible.
  11. Learn a few body resistance exercises that you can do anywhere. Push-ups, dips, squats etc could all be done at work every hour.
  12. Keep a change of workout clothing, including shoes in the car. You just never know when you will get the chance to walk or feel the burn.

➡️Want to learn more tips about health, then why not join our FREE support page. “IMPACTORS”

In this group I post useful content around ?‍?health ?weight loss, fitness, motivation, sports injuries, mind set, goal setting, ?‍?recipes, ?️‍♀️exercise videos and answer questions when possible.

I can also help you
➡️improve your health
➡️make cooking easier
➡️help will meal planning
➡️help you loss weight
➡️keep you motivated
➡️inspire you
➡️keep you accountable
or you may just enjoy talking with others in the group.

Just follow the link to join.

Jaron Blackie Dont put it off any longer! If you have any questions or if I can help in any way please reach out!